It feels good to be up late right now. My heart's beating very quickly--I just did a lot of push-ups. I drank a lot of soda tonight, staying up. I'm writing a story... not an epic big exciting project, just a regular short story, an experiment, to see if I can turn a dream I recently had into a real story with a traditional narrative (without twisting the dream to make it conform, I mean... of course one can do that... I mean just lightly placing the traditional narrative template over top of the dream and trying to produce something that feels true to the dream).
Read the first five stories in Teatro Grottesco. Holy shit, this book is good! Great stories: "The Clown Puppet," "The Town Manager," "Purity"... also maybe "The Red Tower," which really grew on me. I wasn't loving it at first (although I was admiring it) and then something he did at the very end made me suddenly have a whole new perspective on the story.
It's been a long time since I've read a collection of stories that made me sit up and take notice like this.
More on it later, presumably.
Fed-up/anxious about my "career." I've got two more novels finished finished... I feel good about both of them. Like when I stop and think about them, I'm really proud that I wrote them, and I think if I read them, I'd be enthusiastic. But man, I don't know, I've always been a fuck-up when it comes to the business side of this thing we do. Now that I'm really & truly an unemployed writer without family backup money or really any particularly fallback plan, I better learn to not be a fuck-up in that regard.
Today I was completely, completely unproductive until 11 pm at night. I did buy a ticket to see Avatar Thursday night at midnight. I know, I know... huge blue catgoats and so forth. But I bet it'll be worth seeing.