brothercyst: SURFING

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I just wrote a long post on HTMLGiant about surfing and writing.

I want to see this movie, Chloe, directed by Atom Egoyan, who made the sublime The Sweet Hereafter in 1997.

Chloe looks completely absurd and "steamy," kind of like a Cinemax softcore movie, only starring Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore and a naked Amanda Seyfried. I saw the trailer on Jeff Wells' Hollywood Elsewhere website, where it is followed by this priceless comment from commenter "LexG":

A movie like CHLOE would appear to be an example of why MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN LIFE.

Like, where does this EVER happen in real life? Has this ever happened, ever? To ANYONE?

It's all brilliant and saucy and sexy on screen, but in REAL LIFE, has there ever been a pasty middle-aged couple, where the wife gets worried about her husband's infidelity, so she HIRES a SMOKING HOT BLONDE 23-YEAR-OLD to *hit on him* which leads not just to phone booth BJs, but to the wife eventually getting SEDUCED BY THE HOT CHICK?????

A lot of YOU GUYS are married. This sound like your day-to-day? 99.9999% of relationships in the world, this scenario and this movie would end three minutes in, with Julianne hitting Neeson over the head with a ROLLING PIN and him buying some flowers like a douche and them putting it behind them. On what planet do 40-something wives HIRE A HOT CHICK TO SEDUCE THEIR MAN, then when the husband takes the chick up on it, the wife goes, "eh, while I'm at it, she's hot, I'll sleep with her too"?

Again, I'm ALL FOR IT as a movie personally, more power to Egoyan for getting the usually sunny, sweet and lovable Seyfried to agree to this shit under the hilarious auspices of "art"... but it's about as realistic as "Avatar."

Just funny that when an "artist" like Atom Egoyan, an Altman, a Kubrick makes such an obvious horndog lech-fest, we all have to assume it's for some noble artistic purpose, but when it's Michael Bay shooting Megan Fox through golden filters hunched over a motorcycle, it's some sexist, tacky antifeminist objectification.

It's all the same thing. Just these middle-aged directors enjoying their (awesome) privilege of shooting beautiful women in various states of undress. More power to them... I just don't know HOW they explain it to the wives.

...Which reminded me of Bourne Identity director Doug Liman's infamous and funny post about directors claiming their "process" involves ridiculous things like napping on the set and groping the production assistants.

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